Blown Fuse

Once upon a time, I was dating this guy. We'll call him "Daniel". So Daniel and I had gone away for a weekend together for the first time. It hadn't been perfect and things were a little tense as we set out on the looooooong 3 hour drive home. After about 30 minutes Daniel decided he really wanted to rock out to his favorite song on "Jock Rock Album 3". Like I said, it wasn't perfect. Instead of simply turning the volume knob on my car stereo, he thought it would be more effective to place his finger under all the little sliders on the equalizer, and push them all up to their highest settings. I heard a pop....and then silence.

I immediately pulled over to the side of the road and ordered him out of the car so I could figure out what had happened. Daniel, in all his infinite wisdom, had blown a fuse. There wasn't a spare. I seriously thought about getting back in the car and leaving him there rather than spend the next 2 1/2 hours driving in silence. Unfortunately, I'm usually too nice for my own good, so I figured I would pull a less necessary fuse, like the one for my headlights, and worry about it after I got home. That was a no-go. I couldn't get the blown fuse out no matter how hard I pulled.

We got back in the car and started down the road. I was fuming and Daniel seemed to be honestly perplexed by my anger. That of course only made me madder. Finally, just over a rise, I spotted a Home Depot. It was just off the freeway! We could stop, buy some needle nose pliers, swap out the fuse, and be back on the road (and closer to dumping, I mean, dropping him off). In my excitement I exclaimed: "Look! A Home Depot! How fortuitous!"

Daniel slowly turned toward me and, his voice dripping with contempt and disdain, said, "Can't you just talk like a normal person?"

I lost it. I had stayed calm all that time, but that was the last straw. This moron, who wasn't smart enough to turn up the volume on a stock radio in a Saturn, was now making fun of me for using a word that was too big for his pea sized brain. I tore him up one side and down the other using very simple words. He got the point.

I bought the pliers, fixed the stereo, and allowed him back in the car. We listened to my music and brainiac had enough intelligence to stay quiet for the rest of the drive. We broke up a week later.